Monday, September 11, 2006
i hadnt been posting for 1/2 a month.
so wassup lately?
im nt gonna post about past 2 wk..
'cos it's gonna be a long way to go.
so wad happened yesterdae?
i've got bad news frm chu xuan when i was at my sis office.
xuan helped me to cor him. and i found out that he's actually attached.
i suppose it is one of the girl at his church.
it was lucky that i din brokedown when i heard the news.
ai de mei na meh shen.
it nt that deep like when i was sec1.
i was told by a msg of his, nt to like him, 'cos he isnt worth the 'like'
probably wad the guy told me two years ago was rite.
18/10/04 he told me that i this type no guy will like 1..
probably he's rite. who knows...
probably is for me to know and others to find out.
im sort of down nw..i haf a confused feeling..
he doesnt noe who is the person interested in him.
i told xuan nt to let him noe.
shld i let him noe? or shld i nt?
if he noes, will our dist get further?
if i dun, i feel bad for lying.
WHAT SHLD I DO?! GOD, TEACH ME WAD TO DO!
so, todae's mood wasnt really that kind compared to usual.
and i was coughing and sneezeing my way to heaven.
and nw, eating chocolate chips.
is tis a form of self punishment?
i got totally no idea of it. im in the state of confusion.
i wish to tok to him personally abt tis.
yet i haf no guts.
in everything i do, i dare, i take challenge.
tis is the only thing i dun dare.
i fear rejections. even reports says so.
i myself sees that.
i wan to let him noe, i like him and stuff.
however, im afraid of the rejections he gif.
i tried to gif up tis morning.
yet, many hours ltr, nw, sitting infront of the comp.
THINKING OF HIM.
it long since i like someone.
the last time of when i confess on the 7 june 05.
nw is 06.
it seems like i like a guy each year hurs.
im trying to be strong and give up.
i nid a big eraser!
erase his name of my mind.
erase ur name off-
"i know i cnt swim, yet i jump into the sea, waiting for one to save."
-pamela
5:45 PM; shattered
dreams.